"Intro to the world of Introverts" : The speech I gave @Speakathon Event of The Orator's Toastmasters Club (18/12/2015)

After a long tiring week finally that glorious Friday has arrived and there is this one question that is echoed everywhere in office “What’s you plan for the weekend?” And usually my answer to this question is “I am planning to stay at home and read a novel”. For which I am fired back with accusations like “What kind of person spends weekends hunched over a novel rather than having fun? You know what… you should go get a life”

Good afternoon dear friends, Let me introduce you to the world of an introvert. 

Like me there are many introverts who are often accused for being less outgoing. For a long time I too felt guilty. Every time I got this message that somehow introverted style of being was not the right way to go and that I should try to be more of an extrovert.

As a kid I was a hardcore introvert. Things were difficult for me when I joined school. All the parents wanted their kids to sit beside me because I was the quietest kid in the class. Surprising thing was even though I was quiet I was good at giving speeches at school, I was a good class leader, I got good grades but I never quite enjoyed the company of my classmates. I only enjoyed talking to one two very close friends. I never hated the rest, never, but I thought they hated me. I was clumsy and never felt confident in things like outdoor games. I preferred chess because then you don’t have speak or coordinate with anybody. I never liked going to birthday parties my friends organized and never was able to understand how on earth they are able to enjoy. So I started blaming myself thinking I was not able enjoy because maybe I was indeed a nerdy and boring person, I was accused of being.

But things somehow became okay by the time I reached college. I accepted the way I was and started liking myself and so did many others. Soon I made quite a lot of good friends and started enjoying life as I never did before. I realized I too can be wild and crazy provided I am in a company of my close friends.

The thing that changed was not my personality but my attitude towards my introverted personality. I realized, there are actually lots of things wrong with me, but Introversion was not one of them. That being said, I’m an introvert working in an extrovert world.  Why I say so is because 70% of the population are extroverts.  And here is where the bias comes in. Our schools and our offices are designed mostly for extroverts and extroverts need lots of stimulation. Now this has something to do with science. There is chemical in our body called Dopamine which gives us immediate, intense feel of happiness when we act quickly and take risks. Extroverts are less sensitive to dopamine, so they need more of it to feel happy. The more they talk and move, the more they feel dopamine’s pleasant effects.

But introverts are highly sensitive to dopamine, so, too much of it make them feel overstimulated, anxious and tired. And that is why introverts are uncomfortable at parties and get tired in such stimulating environment. Usually in workplaces important decisions are made in stimulating environment like meetings, group discussion, brainstorming session. The brain storming sessions are cool but for that in the first place the brain should at least work, Right? And for introverts it just doesn’t when they are part of a group. I am not saying that group dynamics is not important, what I am saying is it is also important to understand that there are some people who are at their best and come up with better ideas when they are in less stimulating environment or in fact in their own isolated environment.

Most people think that introverts are shy. This is a big misconception. I’m nowhere near shy. I feel comfortable on a stage in front of large crowds. However, if you put me in a group and ask me to mingle, I panic. I would much rather speak on a stage to 500 people than have to mingle with 5 strangers. When you put me in a group, my mind stops working. If you ask me a question like what you had in your lunch or say which project you are working on, my mind goes blank! Your question was easy, but my mind is momentarily paralyzed. When we’re speaking out loud, we introverts may have trouble with word retrieval, meaning, we struggle to find just the right word we want. We may come off sounding like we don’t know what we’re talking about, even though we do. So typically introverts prefer text messages and emails over phone calls.

Studies show that, introverts are better than extroverts at writing stuffs ranging from simple mails to elaborate reports. Introverts are excellent listeners too. Before forming their own opinions, they tend to carefully listen to each side of an issue, making them great decision makers. Also it has been found that introverted leaders often deliver better outcomes than extrovert’s do, because they tend to be more careful and less likely to take out sized risks.  Just because introverts are in minority doesn’t put them on the wrong side of the table. Einstein, Bill gates, warren buffet, J K Rowling, Lincoln and Gandhi and many such famous and inspiring personalities are or were Introverts.

My message to introverts present here is that it’s perfectly fine to be an introvert although at times you may also need to be bold and assertive. The burden is not entirely on Introverts to try to come out of their comfort zone but also on Extroverts. Extroverts need to recognize how an introvert’s world is and respect their way of being. Because that introvert might be your kid, your spouse, your best friend, and your colleague who will be having difficulty in facing this extrovert dominant world. I would like to conclude by saying we need best of both worlds to make this world a better place to live in.